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Comments 'Ironi'
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Comments 'Ironi'
by Fuschia.A.T.Ellenoire Fri Feb 26, 2010 4:55 am
Judul norak? iya.
Cerita ngaco? iya.
Kenapa ditulis? pingin aja. *PLAK* =)) =))
Mari! langsung hajar saja =)) kritik yang banyak!
Cerita ngaco? iya.
Kenapa ditulis? pingin aja. *PLAK* =)) =))
Mari! langsung hajar saja =)) kritik yang banyak!
Fuschia.A.T.Ellenoire- Member
- Posts : 2905
Points : 3010
Join date : 2009-07-20
Age : 27
Character Bio
Character Name: Noire I. Erland
Status: Member of 4 great duke houses, Rien
Job: member of 4 great duke houses, Rien -
Re: Comments 'Ironi'
by Alfonze Alger Fri Feb 26, 2010 6:37 am
wah, permulaannya bagus :D
dan diakhiri sama keterangan yg menjelaskan bahwa si ceweknya meninggal...
sudut pandang pertamanya jg udah bagus
tinggal pandai2 ngatur paragrafnya aja :D...soalnya agak pusing juga kalau 1 paragraf misalnya sebanyak itu, IMO
dan diakhiri sama keterangan yg menjelaskan bahwa si ceweknya meninggal...
sudut pandang pertamanya jg udah bagus
tinggal pandai2 ngatur paragrafnya aja :D...soalnya agak pusing juga kalau 1 paragraf misalnya sebanyak itu, IMO
Alfonze Alger- Admin
- Posts : 10769
Points : 11096
Join date : 2009-06-18
Age : 32
Location : Bandung
Character Bio
Character Name: Alfonze Alger
Status: Gavium Family
Job: Knight, pandora elite officer, contractor, -
Re: Comments 'Ironi'
by Fuschia.A.T.Ellenoire Fri Feb 26, 2010 6:40 am
^ loh itu saya copas semestinya ada 5 paragraf an loh ''a
jangan2 gak jalan ya? =w=
edit =))
jangan2 gak jalan ya? =w=
edit =))
Fuschia.A.T.Ellenoire- Member
- Posts : 2905
Points : 3010
Join date : 2009-07-20
Age : 27
Character Bio
Character Name: Noire I. Erland
Status: Member of 4 great duke houses, Rien
Job: member of 4 great duke houses, Rien -
Re: Comments 'Ironi'
by Alfonze Alger Fri Feb 26, 2010 6:51 am
nah, sekarang udah lebih gampang dibaca 
itu gak ada lanjutannya ya...(penasaran)
itu gak ada lanjutannya ya...(penasaran)
Alfonze Alger- Admin
- Posts : 10769
Points : 11096
Join date : 2009-06-18
Age : 32
Location : Bandung
Character Bio
Character Name: Alfonze Alger
Status: Gavium Family
Job: Knight, pandora elite officer, contractor, -
Re: Comments 'Ironi'
by Fuschia.A.T.Ellenoire Fri Feb 26, 2010 6:52 am
^lanjutannya? =))
loh loh? mau dilanjutin gimana?
loh loh? mau dilanjutin gimana?
Fuschia.A.T.Ellenoire- Member
- Posts : 2905
Points : 3010
Join date : 2009-07-20
Age : 27
Character Bio
Character Name: Noire I. Erland
Status: Member of 4 great duke houses, Rien
Job: member of 4 great duke houses, Rien -
Re: Comments 'Ironi'
by Alfonze Alger Fri Feb 26, 2010 6:53 am
dilanjutin/diperjelas penyebab si ceweknya ngelakuin itu misalnya
buat aja chapter 2-nya, tapi flashback
buat aja chapter 2-nya, tapi flashback
Alfonze Alger- Admin
- Posts : 10769
Points : 11096
Join date : 2009-06-18
Age : 32
Location : Bandung
Character Bio
Character Name: Alfonze Alger
Status: Gavium Family
Job: Knight, pandora elite officer, contractor, -
Re: Comments 'Ironi'
by Fuschia.A.T.Ellenoire Fri Feb 26, 2010 6:57 am
^JEDOR =)) =))
bisa stuck saya...
masih bagus itu cerita jalan =)) =)) itu aja ngetiknya ngebut supaya ide gak terbang =))
tapi yah... okelah nanti saya pikirin OTL =))
bisa stuck saya...
masih bagus itu cerita jalan =)) =)) itu aja ngetiknya ngebut supaya ide gak terbang =))
tapi yah... okelah nanti saya pikirin OTL =))
Fuschia.A.T.Ellenoire- Member
- Posts : 2905
Points : 3010
Join date : 2009-07-20
Age : 27
Character Bio
Character Name: Noire I. Erland
Status: Member of 4 great duke houses, Rien
Job: member of 4 great duke houses, Rien -
Re: Comments 'Ironi'
by Alfonze Alger Fri Feb 26, 2010 7:01 am
ya terserah sih
mau dilanjut gak dilanjut juga itu keputusan mizu
mau dilanjut gak dilanjut juga itu keputusan mizu
Alfonze Alger- Admin
- Posts : 10769
Points : 11096
Join date : 2009-06-18
Age : 32
Location : Bandung
Character Bio
Character Name: Alfonze Alger
Status: Gavium Family
Job: Knight, pandora elite officer, contractor, -
Re: Comments 'Ironi'
by Fuschia.A.T.Ellenoire Fri Feb 26, 2010 7:05 am
^pingin lanjut =)) =))
tapi kalo stuck gawat...
ah tapi klo stuck juga gak akan ngerubah cerita yang ini =))
okey saya coba lanjut!
tapi kalo stuck gawat...
ah tapi klo stuck juga gak akan ngerubah cerita yang ini =))
okey saya coba lanjut!
Fuschia.A.T.Ellenoire- Member
- Posts : 2905
Points : 3010
Join date : 2009-07-20
Age : 27
Character Bio
Character Name: Noire I. Erland
Status: Member of 4 great duke houses, Rien
Job: member of 4 great duke houses, Rien -
Re: Comments 'Ironi'
by Ulqui Schiffer Sun Mar 07, 2010 11:00 pm
Ulqui baru tahu ada FF baru *ketinggalan berita*
Weew.... bagus desu~
Ulqui nggak bisa merangkai kata-kata sih *jadinya amburadul ntar* =))
Weew.... bagus desu~
Ulqui nggak bisa merangkai kata-kata sih *jadinya amburadul ntar* =))
Ulqui Schiffer- Admin
- Posts : 11607
Points : 11760
Join date : 2009-06-23
Age : 28
Location : Kingdom of Istoria
Character Bio
Character Name: Zeno / Z-Pegasus
Status: Four Great Duke Houses, Chain
Job: Head of Four Great Duke Houses, Pandora Elite Officer,Illegal Chain -
Re: Comments 'Ironi'
by Fuschia.A.T.Ellenoire Sat Mar 13, 2010 4:10 pm
^lolololol =)) =)) =))
waih XD sankyuu XDD
saya lagi nyoba bikin prequel nya XDD
kalau jadi mungkin judulnya bakal "One night in december" *lolololol*
waih XD sankyuu XDD
saya lagi nyoba bikin prequel nya XDD
kalau jadi mungkin judulnya bakal "One night in december" *lolololol*
Fuschia.A.T.Ellenoire- Member
- Posts : 2905
Points : 3010
Join date : 2009-07-20
Age : 27
Character Bio
Character Name: Noire I. Erland
Status: Member of 4 great duke houses, Rien
Job: member of 4 great duke houses, Rien -
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