Log in
Similar topics
Who is online?
In total there are 6 users online :: 0 Registered, 0 Hidden and 6 Guests :: 1 BotNone
Most users ever online was 313 on Sat Oct 05, 2024 9:26 pm
Search
Latest topics
» Absensi di siniby Kaz Sun Sep 03, 2023 9:49 pm
» [Revive the Forum]
by Kuro Usagi Fri Sep 04, 2015 12:37 am
» Um.. hi, I guess?
by Kuro Usagi Fri Sep 04, 2015 12:35 am
» Do You Have Sixth Sense?
by Kurome Fri Jun 26, 2015 3:45 pm
» Website favorit kalian untuk baca komik online?
by Phantomhive_Earl Mon Oct 28, 2013 7:57 pm
» Biarkan Mata, Otak, Keyboard mengaum saat engkau mengetes mereka. xD~
by Phantomhive_Earl Mon Oct 28, 2013 7:56 pm
» Imaginary World
by Phantomhive_Earl Mon Oct 28, 2013 4:59 pm
» Komentar member di atas^
by Phantomhive_Earl Mon Oct 28, 2013 4:37 pm
» If you wish at fallen star, it will come true. Is that true?
by Phantomhive_Earl Sun Oct 27, 2013 3:56 pm
» Pengalaman Seram
by Phantomhive_Earl Sun Oct 27, 2013 12:48 pm
Comments "run and revenge"
+2
Sayoppe
ruu chi
6 posters
Page 1 of 1
Comments "run and revenge"
Ah.. silahka kritik disini.. kalo mo kasih saran juga nga masalah..
Huuf... omake pertama buatan ruu pasti ga bagus kan..?
Mo bilang omakenya jelek juga takpapa... huuf...
Ditunggu ya kritik dan sarannya
Huuf... omake pertama buatan ruu pasti ga bagus kan..?
Mo bilang omakenya jelek juga takpapa... huuf...
Ditunggu ya kritik dan sarannya
ruu chi- Member
- Posts : 3974
Points : 4058
Join date : 2009-06-29
Age : 28
Location : dikamar ruu~ xDD
Character Bio
Character Name: Leona Jacquelin
Status: Human
Job: academy Student
Re: Comments "run and revenge"
yaap
udah bagus kok xD
memang ada kata kata yang agak ga pas =))
tapi itu wajar karna ini kan omake yang pertama ruu buat xD
jadi LANJUTKAN yaa xD
pasti lebih bagus chapter berikutnya =3
udah bagus kok xD
memang ada kata kata yang agak ga pas =))
tapi itu wajar karna ini kan omake yang pertama ruu buat xD
jadi LANJUTKAN yaa xD
pasti lebih bagus chapter berikutnya =3
Sayoppe- Admin
- Posts : 3804
Points : 3850
Join date : 2009-06-23
Age : 30
Location : Jakarta
Character Bio
Character Name: Human mode : Ivvi Violeyne | Chain mode : Mons.Vii
Status: Chain
Job: Legal Chain
Re: Comments "run and revenge"
ah~
arigato sayo~ pasti akan lebih bagus chapter berikutnya~
lalu, Anda yang pertama comment disini~
Selamat~ *sambil tepok tangan*
arigato sayo~ pasti akan lebih bagus chapter berikutnya~
lalu, Anda yang pertama comment disini~
Selamat~ *sambil tepok tangan*
ruu chi- Member
- Posts : 3974
Points : 4058
Join date : 2009-06-29
Age : 28
Location : dikamar ruu~ xDD
Character Bio
Character Name: Leona Jacquelin
Status: Human
Job: academy Student
Re: Comments "run and revenge"
ah!
ide ceritanya sih bagus, saya suka...ledakan bomnya, sampai ending chapternya yg menurut saya sih keren..xD
saya mau ngomentarin penulisannya aja..
itu, paragrafnya kalau bisa sih di rapihin, biar yang bacanya enak..=D
paragraf sama dialog kalau bisa di pisah
selebihnya sudah bagus
dan, LANJUTKAN!
ide ceritanya sih bagus, saya suka...ledakan bomnya, sampai ending chapternya yg menurut saya sih keren..xD
saya mau ngomentarin penulisannya aja..
itu, paragrafnya kalau bisa sih di rapihin, biar yang bacanya enak..=D
paragraf sama dialog kalau bisa di pisah
selebihnya sudah bagus
dan, LANJUTKAN!
Alfonze Alger- Admin
- Posts : 10769
Points : 11096
Join date : 2009-06-18
Age : 32
Location : Bandung
Character Bio
Character Name: Alfonze Alger
Status: Gavium Family
Job: Knight, pandora elite officer, contractor,
Re: Comments "run and revenge"
Ho.. begitu ya...
okeh lah!
=3
arigato kritik dan saranya buat semuanya =3
okeh lah!
=3
arigato kritik dan saranya buat semuanya =3
ruu chi- Member
- Posts : 3974
Points : 4058
Join date : 2009-06-29
Age : 28
Location : dikamar ruu~ xDD
Character Bio
Character Name: Leona Jacquelin
Status: Human
Job: academy Student
Re: Comments "run and revenge"
Ri, riya ...?? *bengong*
*nunjuk diri sendiri*
*nunjuk diri sendiri*
suzurin- Member
- Posts : 801
Points : 820
Join date : 2009-06-23
Age : 32
Location : kocchi
Character Bio
Character Name: Delilah Meryl Novadion
Status: Four Great Duke Houses
Job: Member of Four Great Duke Houses
Re: Comments "run and revenge"
e.. eh?
Riya?
Emang riya siapa?
suzu Riya? *nga ngerti*
Riya?
Emang riya siapa?
suzu Riya? *nga ngerti*
ruu chi- Member
- Posts : 3974
Points : 4058
Join date : 2009-06-29
Age : 28
Location : dikamar ruu~ xDD
Character Bio
Character Name: Leona Jacquelin
Status: Human
Job: academy Student
Re: Comments "run and revenge"
na,nama asli suzu .... =="
yaaah meski bukan riya penulisan nya ..
di real suka di panggil ria ... =w="
yaaah meski bukan riya penulisan nya ..
di real suka di panggil ria ... =w="
suzurin- Member
- Posts : 801
Points : 820
Join date : 2009-06-23
Age : 32
Location : kocchi
Character Bio
Character Name: Delilah Meryl Novadion
Status: Four Great Duke Houses
Job: Member of Four Great Duke Houses
Re: Comments "run and revenge"
^
oh begitu ya.. ==
Ruu ga ada maksud bawa2 suzu kok di cerita itu...
oh begitu ya.. ==
Ruu ga ada maksud bawa2 suzu kok di cerita itu...
ruu chi- Member
- Posts : 3974
Points : 4058
Join date : 2009-06-29
Age : 28
Location : dikamar ruu~ xDD
Character Bio
Character Name: Leona Jacquelin
Status: Human
Job: academy Student
Re: Comments "run and revenge"
hhahahaha
suzu cuma kaget aja kok ! XD
btw , tragis juga ya cerita nya ..
Itu masih bersambung ruu ?
suzu cuma kaget aja kok ! XD
btw , tragis juga ya cerita nya ..
Itu masih bersambung ruu ?
suzurin- Member
- Posts : 801
Points : 820
Join date : 2009-06-23
Age : 32
Location : kocchi
Character Bio
Character Name: Delilah Meryl Novadion
Status: Four Great Duke Houses
Job: Member of Four Great Duke Houses
Re: Comments "run and revenge"
iya~
ceritanya ruu buat lumaya tragis~
masih bersambung :D
Cuma 2 Chapter sih... Jadi abis ini kayaknya tamat :D
ceritanya ruu buat lumaya tragis~
masih bersambung :D
Cuma 2 Chapter sih... Jadi abis ini kayaknya tamat :D
ruu chi- Member
- Posts : 3974
Points : 4058
Join date : 2009-06-29
Age : 28
Location : dikamar ruu~ xDD
Character Bio
Character Name: Leona Jacquelin
Status: Human
Job: academy Student
Re: Comments "run and revenge"
Oh ya ?
bagus bagus ...
LANJUTKAN ! *jari membentuk segitigabiru*
bagus bagus ...
LANJUTKAN ! *jari membentuk segitiga
suzurin- Member
- Posts : 801
Points : 820
Join date : 2009-06-23
Age : 32
Location : kocchi
Character Bio
Character Name: Delilah Meryl Novadion
Status: Four Great Duke Houses
Job: Member of Four Great Duke Houses
Re: Comments "run and revenge"
*mangap cengo pingsan*
na-nak ruuvkarya ini KEREN! mizu suka cara pembawaannya
wuahhh lanjutkan!
na-nak ruuvkarya ini KEREN! mizu suka cara pembawaannya
wuahhh lanjutkan!
Fuschia.A.T.Ellenoire- Member
- Posts : 2905
Points : 3010
Join date : 2009-07-20
Age : 27
Character Bio
Character Name: Noire I. Erland
Status: Member of 4 great duke houses, Rien
Job: member of 4 great duke houses, Rien
Re: Comments "run and revenge"
Uwah arigato semuanya!
Terimakasih sekali atas commentnya~
Terimakasih sekali atas commentnya~
ruu chi- Member
- Posts : 3974
Points : 4058
Join date : 2009-06-29
Age : 28
Location : dikamar ruu~ xDD
Character Bio
Character Name: Leona Jacquelin
Status: Human
Job: academy Student
Re: Comments "run and revenge"
Mwahahhaahah
Tak disangka orang ini bisa bikin omake juga *ditabok*
Hnggg.... Ceritanya sih bagus
Tapi....
Masih soal penulisan juga *ditabok*
Ada kata-kata yang kurang pas~
Terus... Ini sudut pandang orang ketiga kan?
Kok ada sudut pandang orang pertamanya juga ya?
<-- Ato dia salah liad *digebuk* XD
Tak disangka orang ini bisa bikin omake juga *ditabok*
Hnggg.... Ceritanya sih bagus
Tapi....
Masih soal penulisan juga *ditabok*
Ada kata-kata yang kurang pas~
Terus... Ini sudut pandang orang ketiga kan?
Kok ada sudut pandang orang pertamanya juga ya?
<-- Ato dia salah liad *digebuk* XD
Ulqui Schiffer- Admin
- Posts : 11607
Points : 11760
Join date : 2009-06-23
Age : 28
Location : Kingdom of Istoria
Character Bio
Character Name: Zeno / Z-Pegasus
Status: Four Great Duke Houses, Chain
Job: Head of Four Great Duke Houses, Pandora Elite Officer,Illegal Chain
Re: Comments "run and revenge"
Awakakakakak XDD
Maklum lah pai XDD
Baru pertama kali bikin XDD
Itu pun bikinnya jem 2 pagi XDDD
Maklum lah pai XDD
Baru pertama kali bikin XDD
Itu pun bikinnya jem 2 pagi XDDD
ruu chi- Member
- Posts : 3974
Points : 4058
Join date : 2009-06-29
Age : 28
Location : dikamar ruu~ xDD
Character Bio
Character Name: Leona Jacquelin
Status: Human
Job: academy Student
Re: Comments "run and revenge"
Buseeeeett....
Jam 2 pagi *Tepar*
Jam 2 pagi *Tepar*
Ulqui Schiffer- Admin
- Posts : 11607
Points : 11760
Join date : 2009-06-23
Age : 28
Location : Kingdom of Istoria
Character Bio
Character Name: Zeno / Z-Pegasus
Status: Four Great Duke Houses, Chain
Job: Head of Four Great Duke Houses, Pandora Elite Officer,Illegal Chain
Re: Comments "run and revenge"
Awahahahah XDD
Abis selain jem 2 pagi w sibuk~
Sibuk OL dan CFC... BWAAHAHAHAHA XDD
Abis selain jem 2 pagi w sibuk~
Sibuk OL dan CFC... BWAAHAHAHAHA XDD
ruu chi- Member
- Posts : 3974
Points : 4058
Join date : 2009-06-29
Age : 28
Location : dikamar ruu~ xDD
Character Bio
Character Name: Leona Jacquelin
Status: Human
Job: academy Student
Similar topics
» Comments "Zeno : Memory Fragments of a Former Human.."
» Comments "The End of The World"
» Comments "Apart"
» Comments "The End of The World"
» Comments "Apart"
Page 1 of 1
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum