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Ulqui Schiffer
[comment]The White Ribbon I_vote_lcap[comment]The White Ribbon I_voting_bar[comment]The White Ribbon I_vote_rcap 
Kuro Usagi
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[comment]The White Ribbon

+2
Ulqui Schiffer
Alfonze Alger
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Pandora Hearts :: Jack's Library :: Author Room

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[comment]The White Ribbon Empty [comment]The White Ribbon

Post by Alfonze Alger Tue Feb 09, 2010 12:09 pm

comment dari omake ini : https://pandora-hearts.forumotion.net/fiction-and-story-f37/omakethe-white-ribbon-t462.htm#35018

oke, silahkan memaki saya disini... [comment]The White Ribbon 712674

maaf posting omake gak jelas... [comment]The White Ribbon 712674

awalnya emang agak aneh (soalnya jujur saya mikir ke pertengahan cerita dulu dan stuck diawal cerita)

mudah2an chapter selanjutnya gak gaje lagi kayak sekarang


Last edited by Alfonze Alger on Tue Feb 09, 2010 3:50 pm; edited 1 time in total
Alfonze Alger
Alfonze Alger
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[comment]The White Ribbon Empty Re: [comment]The White Ribbon

Post by Ulqui Schiffer Tue Feb 09, 2010 3:26 pm

Ara? Bagus kok, pi >w<

Tumben chara utamanya cewek [comment]The White Ribbon 743428

Ntah kenapa gara-gara baca omake jadi pengen bikin juga *slapped*
Ulqui Schiffer
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[comment]The White Ribbon Empty Re: [comment]The White Ribbon

Post by Alfonze Alger Tue Feb 09, 2010 3:28 pm

iseng2 bikin tokoh utama cewek...[comment]The White Ribbon 743428

Ntah kenapa gara-gara baca omake jadi pengen bikin juga *slapped*

WHAHAHA...kebiasaan ulqui tuh, mengikuti tren yang ada...[comment]The White Ribbon 805912
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[comment]The White Ribbon Empty Re: [comment]The White Ribbon

Post by Ulqui Schiffer Tue Feb 09, 2010 3:31 pm

Alfonze Alger wrote:WHAHAHA...kebiasaan ulqui tuh, mengikuti tren yang ada...[comment]The White Ribbon 805912

[comment]The White Ribbon 805912
Gyahahahahahaha xDD
Bagus dong pih, up to date *dilempar ke laut*
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[comment]The White Ribbon Empty Re: [comment]The White Ribbon

Post by ruu chi Tue Feb 09, 2010 3:45 pm

Ahhh~
keren piii~
Romacennya tambahin lagi piii [comment]The White Ribbon 991196
<< Otak shoujonnya mulai beraksi
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[comment]The White Ribbon Empty Re: [comment]The White Ribbon

Post by Fuschia.A.T.Ellenoire Tue Feb 09, 2010 3:46 pm

dua saja dari mizu =))

1. Romancenya kata2 terakhirnya nancep =))

2. GYAHAHAH SUMPAH BAHASANYA CEWEK LOVE STRUCK ABIS! =)) =)) hebat nii sama! XD

lanjut~
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[comment]The White Ribbon Empty Re: [comment]The White Ribbon

Post by Alfonze Alger Tue Feb 09, 2010 3:52 pm

Bagus dong pih, up to date *dilempar ke laut*

whahaha dasar...[comment]The White Ribbon 743428

@ruu : di chapter 2 mungkin ada lagi, ditunggu aja... [comment]The White Ribbon 991196

@mizu : whahaha, kan diliat dari sudut pandang si Vione , jadi harus mengikuti gaya bahasanya
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[comment]The White Ribbon Empty Re: [comment]The White Ribbon

Post by Earl Oz Vessalius Wed Feb 24, 2010 11:10 pm

Yang laen udah komen isinya, saya komen bahasa Inggris-nya saja ya? *plak* Ngantuk desu.

I can't figure out how you stole my heart. After all I tried to do, to stay away from loving you I'm broken heart and I can't let you know this feeling
Kentara jelas sekali ada kesalahan structure di situ. Anda menggunakan idiom "figure out", yang tidak bisa dituliskan begitu saja. Di antara dua kata itu, harus ada sebuah obyek untuk kata kerja "figure". Kalimat berikutnya, juga ada fragment sentence, yaitu kalimat yang tidak selesai ditulis karena kurang obyek. Penggunaan kata "After all" juga kurang tepat.

Penulisan yang benar dan bisa diterima adalah:
"I can't figure it out; how you stole my heart. Staying away from loving you is breaking my heart. And I can't let you to know this feeling. Only that is what I can do.
Earl Oz Vessalius
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[comment]The White Ribbon Empty Re: [comment]The White Ribbon

Post by Ulqui Schiffer Sat Feb 27, 2010 9:22 pm

Uwooooo [comment]The White Ribbon 72735

Makin keren ajah [comment]The White Ribbon 55949


Ulqui suka Vione~ [comment]The White Ribbon 991196
Orangnya lucu, mirip Ulqui *apa apaan ini?* [comment]The White Ribbon 743428
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[comment]The White Ribbon Empty Re: [comment]The White Ribbon

Post by Alfonze Alger Sat Feb 27, 2010 9:24 pm

emang sih, sifatnya agak mirip ulqui [comment]The White Ribbon 743428

sip, makasih commentnya ulqui :D
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[comment]The White Ribbon Empty Re: [comment]The White Ribbon

Post by Ulqui Schiffer Sat Feb 27, 2010 9:25 pm

^
Gyahahahahhaa [comment]The White Ribbon 805912

Ini bakal lanjut sampe berapa chapter pih?
*pengen liad diri sendiri di omake [?!]* *ditabok papih* [comment]The White Ribbon 805912
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[comment]The White Ribbon Empty Re: [comment]The White Ribbon

Post by Alfonze Alger Sat Feb 27, 2010 9:27 pm

lolol [comment]The White Ribbon 805912

tapi chapter 3 mungkin jadinya agak mengecewakan...

sampe chapter 4 mungkin
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[comment]The White Ribbon Empty Re: [comment]The White Ribbon

Post by Ulqui Schiffer Sat Feb 27, 2010 9:29 pm

Mengecewakan gimana? *shock*

Weew... Ditunggu ajah deh =w= *penasaran*
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[comment]The White Ribbon Empty Re: [comment]The White Ribbon

Post by Phantomhive_Earl Sat Jun 08, 2013 10:27 am

Lanjut dong [comment]The White Ribbon 417443 Ceritanya lovely banget,aku suka! [comment]The White Ribbon 687893
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