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Komentar tentang cerita "Shein's past"

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Re: Komentar tentang cerita "Shein's past"

Post by Alfonze Alger on Wed Jul 08, 2009 6:59 pm

yaa..

omake shien-nya berarti saya stop dulu

nyelesein omake ini dulu, biar gak numpuk..

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Re: Komentar tentang cerita "Shein's past"

Post by Rheaffel on Wed Jul 08, 2009 7:11 pm

Lol... udah ada lanjutannya, sik asiiik~

yak komen saya tetap seperti biasa, LANJUTKAN!!

at Story udah oke sih... apalagi dengan epilog dari Raven, well kok rasanya ini menjadi super spoiler spoiler *__*a

AH ya... mungkin saya akan sedikit mengomentari bagian punktuasi (karena dulu saya sering dicerca pada bagian ini, jadi sekarang giliran saya mencerca orang *ditampol*).

Pada bagian seperti ini:
“Nama yang indah..Terima kasih, Master Shein,” ucapnya tetapi masih tanpa ekspresi.

Seharusnya dibuat begini: [...] ]indah... terima [...]
setelah titik-titik (3x) itu pakai spasi dan huruf di kata setelahnya kecil. Kecuali kalau titiknya ada 4 maka huruf di kata selanjutnya besar.

Dan biasanya titik yang dipakai itu 3 [...] bukan 2.

Well ini disadur dari EYD *dilempar*


Last edited by Rheaffel on Wed Jul 08, 2009 7:16 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Re: Komentar tentang cerita "Shein's past"

Post by Alfonze Alger on Wed Jul 08, 2009 7:14 pm

[i]setelah titik-titik (3x) itu pakai spasi dan huruf di kata setelahnya kecil. Kecuali kalau titiknya ada 4 maka huruf di kata selanjutnya besar.

Oh, yaa..saya buatnya sambil ngelindur

ngantuk2..ok, akan lebih saya perhatikan untuk itu

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Re: Komentar tentang cerita "Shein's past"

Post by Sayoppe on Sun Jul 19, 2009 10:24 am

yang ini terakhir ya ?
seru !


steinnya berantem..

sedih sekali rasanya tiba-tiba shien udah ga ada...kirain shiennya jadi baek

tapi bagus kok..masuk ke dalam omake pertama

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Re: Komentar tentang cerita "Shein's past"

Post by Alfonze Alger on Sun Jul 19, 2009 10:26 am

yep, terakhir..

sedih sekali rasanya tiba-tiba shien udah ga ada...kirain shiennya jadi baek

Sedih? awakakak..di kirain malah girang..

sisanya akan di lanjutkan di omake sisa

masa kecil Shein, Shien sama Raven...

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Re: Komentar tentang cerita "Shein's past"

Post by Sayoppe on Sun Jul 19, 2009 10:30 am

pertamanya sih girang wkwkwkwk

tapi ngeliat jalan RP yang dibuat shiennya ga pernah baek, ngomongnya absolut mulu

jadi sedih, kirain udah rada baek kaya sinetron

masa kecil Shein, Shien sama Raven...

buat ! pasti waktu kecil pada rada autis semua *digoreng sampe kering ring ring*

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Re: Komentar tentang cerita "Shein's past"

Post by Alfonze Alger on Sun Jul 19, 2009 10:32 am

HUAKAKAK

TO THE ABSOLUTE!

saya aja bosen ngetik absolut absolut mulu..

tapi bisa di bilang si Shien cuman mati sebagian aja*emangnya bisa*..

pokoknya gak mati sepenuhnya...

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Re: Komentar tentang cerita "Shein's past"

Post by Sayoppe on Sun Jul 19, 2009 10:35 am

TO THE ABSOLUTE!

*catet*

wkwkwkwkwk XDD
nagi : extreme
om : absolut
sayo : dasyat



tapi bisa di bilang si Shien cuman mati sebagian aja*emangnya bisa*..

pokoknya gak mati sepenuhnya...

benar-benar kaya dajal *dilempar 1000 sendal swallow jutsu*

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Re: Komentar tentang cerita "Shein's past"

Post by Alfonze Alger on Sun Jul 19, 2009 10:38 am

ahahaha

jadi punya TO THE EXTREME sendiri2 yah..

tapi kenapa saya harus kebagian yang Shien...

benar-benar kaya dajal

memang dajal..

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Re: Komentar tentang cerita "Shein's past"

Post by Sayoppe on Sun Jul 19, 2009 10:43 am

tapi kenapa saya harus kebagian yang Shien...

takdir.. wkwkwkwk

dan lama-lama om jadi kayak dajal shien nanti

lanjutin omake waktu kecilnya !

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Re: Komentar tentang cerita "Shein's past"

Post by Alfonze Alger on Sun Jul 19, 2009 10:49 am

dan lama-lama om jadi kayak dajal shien nanti

waii...amit-amit jabang bayi..

lanjutin omake waktu kecilnya !

iyaa, sabaar...

ini juga lagi di lanjut, baru 2 lembar..

lagi stuck, gak ada ide..

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Re: Komentar tentang cerita "Shein's past"

Post by Rheaffel on Sun Jul 19, 2009 7:24 pm

Ah... baru baca...

satu kata, KEREN!!! *guling2 girang* Ah kereeeen >w< *acungin 5 jempol, pinjem jempol tetangga dulu*

Absolute ini super Keren... ceritanya dapet, feel-nya dapet >w<

hanya ada satu yang rancu

“KITA CARI SHIEN-NII SAMA SEKARANG… ayo, Rhea,” Shein menarik tangan Rhea, dia panik membayangkan kakak satu-satunya itu sedang luka-luka parah, bahkan tidak ada lagi di dunia ini.

Di paragraf lainnya pake sudut pandang orang pertama kenapa di sini jadi orang ketiga yak ' 'a

Selain itu yang lainnya uda deh TOP~

Jadi ingin buat Omake juga <--- gampang kebawa arus
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Re: Komentar tentang cerita "Shein's past"

Post by Alfonze Alger on Sun Jul 19, 2009 7:26 pm

awakakak

yang orang ketiga, kelupaan saya..=D

maklum..gonta-ganti bikin omake..

satu lagi omake yg sebagai orang ketiga..jadinya bingung begitu..

ahaha

ayo, buat lagi..

saya jg mudah terpengaruh sama sekitar...

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Re: Komentar tentang cerita "Shein's past"

Post by Rheaffel on Sun Jul 19, 2009 7:37 pm

Ah iya, saya maklum sih... soalnya itu sudut pandangnya ganti-ganti
>w< tapi justru di situ letak nilai plus plusnya :3

... nyuung ingin buat tapi apa ya~
*nggak kepikiran apapun* :p
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Re: Komentar tentang cerita "Shein's past"

Post by Alfonze Alger on Sun Jul 19, 2009 7:58 pm

wkwkwk

yah, makanya waktu bikinnya pusing

dan emang telat chapter terakhir ini..

ok, di tunggu omake buatan senpai yg lainnya...

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Re: Komentar tentang cerita "Shein's past"

Post by Rheaffel on Sun Jul 19, 2009 8:11 pm

Panjang pula~
Saya sih paling anti bikin yang panjang-panjang --a cape duluan ngetiknya *dilempar*

Nyahaa~ silakan ditunggu *saya mencari inspirasi dulu syalalalala*
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Re: Komentar tentang cerita "Shein's past"

Post by tamachama on Fri Jul 31, 2009 6:14 pm

KEREN BANGET!!!

<<<telat, baru baca!
huwaah~ lanjutkan lagi yah!
aad senpai emang jagoan yah bikin cerita dengan sudut pandang orang pertama ^^v
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Re: Komentar tentang cerita "Shein's past"

Post by Alfonze Alger on Fri Jul 31, 2009 7:02 pm

hnng...

padahal saya bener-bener gak terbiasa bikin cerita dengan sudut pandang orang pertama..==;..*kebiasaan bikin cerita pake sudut pandang ke-3*...

entah deh, cerita ini juga saya buat seadanya, dan masih banyak kekurangannya

tapi sankyuu...

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Re: Komentar tentang cerita "Shein's past"

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