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[comment]The White Ribbon

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[comment]The White Ribbon

Post by Alfonze Alger on Tue Feb 09, 2010 12:09 pm

comment dari omake ini : http://pandora-hearts.forumotion.net/fiction-and-story-f37/omakethe-white-ribbon-t462.htm#35018

oke, silahkan memaki saya disini...

maaf posting omake gak jelas...

awalnya emang agak aneh (soalnya jujur saya mikir ke pertengahan cerita dulu dan stuck diawal cerita)

mudah2an chapter selanjutnya gak gaje lagi kayak sekarang


Last edited by Alfonze Alger on Tue Feb 09, 2010 3:50 pm; edited 1 time in total

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Re: [comment]The White Ribbon

Post by Ulqui Schiffer on Tue Feb 09, 2010 3:26 pm

Ara? Bagus kok, pi >w<

Tumben chara utamanya cewek

Ntah kenapa gara-gara baca omake jadi pengen bikin juga *slapped*

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Re: [comment]The White Ribbon

Post by Alfonze Alger on Tue Feb 09, 2010 3:28 pm

iseng2 bikin tokoh utama cewek...

Ntah kenapa gara-gara baca omake jadi pengen bikin juga *slapped*

WHAHAHA...kebiasaan ulqui tuh, mengikuti tren yang ada...

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Re: [comment]The White Ribbon

Post by Ulqui Schiffer on Tue Feb 09, 2010 3:31 pm

Alfonze Alger wrote:WHAHAHA...kebiasaan ulqui tuh, mengikuti tren yang ada...


Gyahahahahahaha xDD
Bagus dong pih, up to date *dilempar ke laut*

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Re: [comment]The White Ribbon

Post by ruu chi on Tue Feb 09, 2010 3:45 pm

Ahhh~
keren piii~
Romacennya tambahin lagi piii
<< Otak shoujonnya mulai beraksi
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Re: [comment]The White Ribbon

Post by Fuschia.A.T.Ellenoire on Tue Feb 09, 2010 3:46 pm

dua saja dari mizu =))

1. Romancenya kata2 terakhirnya nancep =))

2. GYAHAHAH SUMPAH BAHASANYA CEWEK LOVE STRUCK ABIS! =)) =)) hebat nii sama! XD

lanjut~
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Re: [comment]The White Ribbon

Post by Alfonze Alger on Tue Feb 09, 2010 3:52 pm

Bagus dong pih, up to date *dilempar ke laut*

whahaha dasar...

@ruu : di chapter 2 mungkin ada lagi, ditunggu aja...

@mizu : whahaha, kan diliat dari sudut pandang si Vione , jadi harus mengikuti gaya bahasanya

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Re: [comment]The White Ribbon

Post by Earl Oz Vessalius on Wed Feb 24, 2010 11:10 pm

Yang laen udah komen isinya, saya komen bahasa Inggris-nya saja ya? *plak* Ngantuk desu.

I can't figure out how you stole my heart. After all I tried to do, to stay away from loving you I'm broken heart and I can't let you know this feeling
Kentara jelas sekali ada kesalahan structure di situ. Anda menggunakan idiom "figure out", yang tidak bisa dituliskan begitu saja. Di antara dua kata itu, harus ada sebuah obyek untuk kata kerja "figure". Kalimat berikutnya, juga ada fragment sentence, yaitu kalimat yang tidak selesai ditulis karena kurang obyek. Penggunaan kata "After all" juga kurang tepat.

Penulisan yang benar dan bisa diterima adalah:
"I can't figure it out; how you stole my heart. Staying away from loving you is breaking my heart. And I can't let you to know this feeling. Only that is what I can do.
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Re: [comment]The White Ribbon

Post by Ulqui Schiffer on Sat Feb 27, 2010 9:22 pm

Uwooooo

Makin keren ajah


Ulqui suka Vione~
Orangnya lucu, mirip Ulqui *apa apaan ini?*

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Re: [comment]The White Ribbon

Post by Alfonze Alger on Sat Feb 27, 2010 9:24 pm

emang sih, sifatnya agak mirip ulqui

sip, makasih commentnya ulqui :D

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Re: [comment]The White Ribbon

Post by Ulqui Schiffer on Sat Feb 27, 2010 9:25 pm

^
Gyahahahahhaa

Ini bakal lanjut sampe berapa chapter pih?
*pengen liad diri sendiri di omake [?!]* *ditabok papih*

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Re: [comment]The White Ribbon

Post by Alfonze Alger on Sat Feb 27, 2010 9:27 pm

lolol

tapi chapter 3 mungkin jadinya agak mengecewakan...

sampe chapter 4 mungkin

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Re: [comment]The White Ribbon

Post by Ulqui Schiffer on Sat Feb 27, 2010 9:29 pm

Mengecewakan gimana? *shock*

Weew... Ditunggu ajah deh =w= *penasaran*

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Re: [comment]The White Ribbon

Post by Phantomhive_Earl on Sat Jun 08, 2013 10:27 am

Lanjut dong Ceritanya lovely banget,aku suka!
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Re: [comment]The White Ribbon

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