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comment for lilica detailed past

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comment for lilica detailed past

Post by Fuschia.A.T.Ellenoire on Fri Sep 11, 2009 11:29 am

yak saudara saudara ini adalah omake dari lilica

mohon di komen dan kritik karya bejat ini XD

makasih~
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Re: comment for lilica detailed past

Post by Alfonze Alger on Fri Sep 11, 2009 12:10 pm

wai...

kasihan juga ya Lilica..--a

terkekang,

dan sifatnya yg rebellious masih menarik..wkwk

ya, tambahkan adegan sadisnya!*ditakol*

chapter 2 panjangin dong...>>seenaknya nyuruh2...


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Re: comment for lilica detailed past

Post by Kaz on Fri Sep 11, 2009 12:20 pm

sepertinya ini mirip dengan kisah nyata mizu....

sedihnya... dicampakan ==;

ah~ lanjutkaan!!
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Re: comment for lilica detailed past

Post by Alfonze Alger on Fri Sep 11, 2009 12:25 pm

hn...

diangkat dari kisah nyata ya..--a

omake yg sekarang lg saya buat jg dari kisah nyata

nanti post ahh...


yak, pokoknya saya mau chapter 2 lebih panjang...wkwkwk..

>>gak puas baca dikit2

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Re: comment for lilica detailed past

Post by Fuschia.A.T.Ellenoire on Fri Sep 11, 2009 2:22 pm

eh kisah nyata? padahal itu mizu mikir sendiri ==

nani di rubah biar ga nyo tek ceritanya wkwkwk

@nii san

iya deh nanti mizu panjangin yang panjangggggg banget. =)) XD

tadi emang agak pendek kesusu mau ke skul buat ambil rapor sih XD

*dihajar ni san*
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Re: comment for lilica detailed past

Post by Sayoppe on Fri Sep 11, 2009 3:48 pm

kriukkk....*suara perut kelaperan*

intinya, kenapa sayo tambah laper pas baca itu =="""

nee nee...ayo lanjutkan !, ini sayo yang kecepetan baca atau ceritanya emang pendek ? ==""

kata katanya bagus (padahal ada kata kasarnya)

udah keren kok xD bagus...

mungkin karna pendek, jadi kita ngebayanginnya sebentar..

LANJUTKAN

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Re: comment for lilica detailed past

Post by Alfonze Alger on Fri Sep 11, 2009 3:49 pm

@mizu:

ya, panjang2in aja...

saya suka cerita yang panjang2..wkwk

mau sepanjang cerita novel jg tak masalah...

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Re: comment for lilica detailed past

Post by Fuschia.A.T.Ellenoire on Fri Sep 11, 2009 3:58 pm

@sayo

tenang nak udah mizu panjangin XD selamat membaca lagi

@nii san

oh tentu lihat saja yang ini lebih panjang dan sadis! muahahah *dihajar*
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Re: comment for lilica detailed past

Post by Alfonze Alger on Fri Sep 11, 2009 4:01 pm

yak!

saya selesai baca chapter 2...

mantap, kata2 kasarnya semakin merajalela..

"stupid fucking bitch" ejeknya saat ia mencapai kamarnya.



ah iya, chapter kali ini memang lebih sadis..

lilica terlihat kejam ya~..wkwk

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Re: comment for lilica detailed past

Post by Fuschia.A.T.Ellenoire on Fri Sep 11, 2009 4:06 pm

^ wkakaka

kok mantap? padahal udah mizu berusaha kurangin hahaha

btw ada adegan yang dipotong supaya layak di baca oleh orang umum loh XD

wakakak iya yang dialog itu emang rada kasar

emang tuh anak kejem sebelum shein datang wakakka
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Re: comment for lilica detailed past

Post by Alfonze Alger on Fri Sep 11, 2009 4:08 pm

adegan yang mana yg dipotong?

wkwk...

bit**

jadi inget, dulu sempet kepergok sama guru bhs inggris ngomong begitu(padahal gak ngomong ke guru-nya), langsung di sepak...==;

emang tuh anak kejem sebelum shein datang wakakka

wkwkwk..

berarti Shein pawangnya lilica ya?=D

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Re: comment for lilica detailed past

Post by Sayoppe on Fri Sep 11, 2009 4:11 pm

astaga...walau darah yang dimakan, sayo jadi ikut ikutan laper ==""" *digoreng*


hnng...yang ini memang lebih sadis, hebat

tapi ceritanya masih berjalan cepat yaa.. =="
sayo kira pas pertama tama baca, alurnya akan semakin lambat sedikit

tapi teruslah berkarya yaa ! =))

NEXT

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Re: comment for lilica detailed past

Post by Fuschia.A.T.Ellenoire on Fri Sep 11, 2009 4:12 pm

^ah sama mizu pernah ngomong stupid fuc*ing bi*** waktu guru lewat

langsung di jotos mizu kuso ==

mizu jotos balik haahaa

pawang? --a emang sirkus? yah rasanya gitu lah wkwkkw

kan shein stau satunya keluarga lilica mau ga mau lilica hormat banget ma shein ahahah

@ sayo

iya nak nanti mizu lambatin XD ini juga lagi cepet cepet mau les dan pr blum sleesai wakkaka

selain itu ada beberapa adegan yang harus dipotong supaya bisa ga terlalu explit

dan banyak yang harus di edit sebelum di baca semua orang! ==


Last edited by Shizumasa Kei on Fri Sep 11, 2009 4:16 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Re: comment for lilica detailed past

Post by Alfonze Alger on Fri Sep 11, 2009 4:14 pm

wkwkwk

saya jadi semangat lanjutin omake2 terlantar...

>>suka terpengaruh orang lain

ya sudah, chapter 3 harus lebih panjang lagi!

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Re: comment for lilica detailed past

Post by Fuschia.A.T.Ellenoire on Fri Sep 11, 2009 4:17 pm

^wkakaka iya lanjutin sono *dihajar* XD

iyaaaa mizu panjangin yang panjangggggggggggggg banget wakakakakak
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Re: comment for lilica detailed past

Post by Alfonze Alger on Fri Sep 11, 2009 4:42 pm

chapter 3 lg di bikin ya?=D

panjangin, jangan lupa..wkwk

kalau saya sih, satu chapter omake biasanya sampe 8-10 page(kalau di ketik di microsoft word)

yaa, tergantung keinginan masing2...

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Re: comment for lilica detailed past

Post by Fuschia.A.T.Ellenoire on Fri Sep 11, 2009 4:44 pm

^iya mizu panjangin ahhaha

8-10? mizu ga bisa sepanjang itu ==

mizu cobalah 5-6 halaman wkwkwk
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Re: comment for lilica detailed past

Post by Alfonze Alger on Fri Sep 11, 2009 4:45 pm

wkwkwk

gak usah di paksain panjang juga sih...

asal alurnya gak terlalu dipercepat, santai saja...=D

kalau masalah panjang-pendeknya cerita sih tergantung pengarangnya

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Re: comment for lilica detailed past

Post by Fuschia.A.T.Ellenoire on Fri Sep 11, 2009 4:48 pm

hmm iy ajuga sih mizu nyadar alurnya kecepetan

nanti mizu lambatin dan mizu kasih detail aja

ini juga kecepetan karena banyak yang dipotong sih detailnya (terlalu sadis tak senonoh dll)
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Re: comment for lilica detailed past

Post by Ulqui Schiffer on Sat Sep 12, 2009 8:09 am

^
Mwahahahhaaha XDD
Pada bisa sampe sepanjang itu XD

Ulqui aja cuma 3 halaman maksimal
Itu sih di Open Office XD


Ada nama Ciel nongol *ngakak*

Yah, intinya.... [Nih anak jadi sering ngomong Intinya]

Mizu bisa menggerakan Lilica sesuai dengan karakternya
Bener-bener kejam
Memang, menghayati peran itu paling menyenangkan..

<--- Suka hampir nangis kalo nulis yang mengharukan XD

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Re: comment for lilica detailed past

Post by Fuschia.A.T.Ellenoire on Sat Sep 12, 2009 11:46 am

wakakakka. iya lilica emang kejam tapi nanti tunggu kairi deh. wkwkwk

menghayati? ciakkakaka itu mah berkat nonton saw, baca desendant darkness (bener ga nulis ga?), terus nonton elfen lied bagian sadisnya di replay terus =))

banyak refrensi wkkwkw

tapi stelah ketemu shein bisa 180° jadi cwe yang lucu kaya yang di RP

<------ bego amat malah di spoiler

ah tapi makasih udah mau baca minna san! XD
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Re: comment for lilica detailed past

Post by Ulqui Schiffer on Sat Sep 12, 2009 6:53 pm

Waaw~
Ternyata banyak referensi =3

Disarankan nonton Umineko juga kalo mau lebih sadis
*digampar malah promosi* XD


Lalalla~
Tapi Mizu rajin..
<--- Gak lanjut lanjut omakenya XD

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Re: comment for lilica detailed past

Post by Fuschia.A.T.Ellenoire on Sat Sep 12, 2009 7:19 pm

umineko? iya itu salah satu refrensi tapi mizu cuma lihat bagian mayatnya XD

rajin? iya sih lagi ga ada kerjaan XD

sebelumnya maaf untuk kata katanya ==a lilica emang mulutnya ga enak

juga alurnya masih kecepetan ga? mizu ngerasa sih kurang lambat dikit --a
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Re: comment for lilica detailed past

Post by Rheaffel on Sat Sep 12, 2009 9:34 pm

Oh well, komentar non teknis saya... ternyata Lilica kejam juga ya =w=
jadi kepikiran untuk mengganti judul Milk Tea jadi jenis teh lainnya *disepak*

Secara terknis, ya... masih banyak kesalahan pada punktuasi dan sedikit typo... tapi nggak begitu masalah. Nanti juga kalau banyak menulis bisa belajar bagian mana yang perlu diperbaiki :3~

keep writing
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Re: comment for lilica detailed past

Post by Fuschia.A.T.Ellenoire on Sat Sep 12, 2009 10:50 pm

ahahah iya XD

makasih sarannya qwerty san!! XDd

makasih udah baca *lambai lamabai* XD
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